Sometimes intrusive thoughts takeover. So many things have been happening lately that, while worshipping with all my heart, the enemy continuously threw at me “really?” “How?” “Are you sure?” "They do not actually want you." "You are not actually doing anything."
One morning, this was so loud, I asked Holy Spirit to show me my purpose. Sometimes in the middle of trials, in the middle of chaos, in the middle of the unknown, purpose can get really blurry. When you feel out of control, helpless and nothing makes sense.
As I continue to ask the Holy Spirit to take my fear, I am continually reminded: it is not my trust and faith in and with God that lacks. It is my trust in people. Which ultimately can lead me to not trusting God.
But the truth is:
God does not hurt us. People do.
God does not get cancer. People do.
God does not take a gun and shoot innocent teenagers. People do.
God does not say hurtful things. People do.
While God is forever in control, we all have a choice and we live in a fallen world where sickness, evil and hurt exists, bad things happen and choices destroy. How? If God is in control? I would say most parents are in control of their children, right? You have authority over them, but can you control their ultimate decisions? You can do all you want to keep your children from not getting sick, but they still do, right? God many times relates Himself to earthly fathers, so this analogy, while God is so much bigger and able than us, in our human mind, it makes sense to apply this analogy to the control of our children. (Correct me if I’m wrong)
I have never really been able to solve this problem in my mind… No matter how much I trust God, people are still going to make bad decisions and people are still going to make decisions that hurt. People are still going to get sick. So if God is on my side, what do I have to fear? Well, people who still make choices that hurt others, right? People who still get sick, even when they do nothing to cause it, right? No matter how “perfect” you live your life, no matter how healthy you are, no matter how much you exercise, good food you eat and good choices you make… you can still get sick, right?
When all of this is happening, purpose gets really blurry. What is the point if in the end we have no control over hurt and sickness? What is the point if no matter how hard we try, no matter how pure our intentions, no matter how much we give, no matter how healthy we are, how “safe” and cautious we are… hurt and bad things still happen.
And this the exact place we remember, we reflect, we fall to our knees in worship because no matter what happens, no matter who, no matter how… God is still good. God is still worthy. God is still enough. God is still Holy, Righteous, Perfect and Sovereign. Why? Because nothing we do, nothing that happens to us, good or bad, changes God's Character (Malachi 3:6 and Hebrews 13:8).
Humans are wrong. I am wrong.
Humans mess up. I mess up.
Humans make mistakes. I make mistakes.
Humans hurt. I hurt.
Jesus came because none of us could do it without Him. Jesus came to redeem our choices. Jesus came to not take our consequences, but take our punishment. Jesus came to make all things good. All things glorifying. All things holy. All things righteous. Sin still has consequences. Sin still has lasting effects. Sin still has detrimental wounds. Choices still cause sickness. This fallen world still causes bad things to happen. But God.
The sermon right after I prayed for Holy Spirit to show me my purpose, the sermon right after the enemy threw lies at me during worship was this: As children of God, We were made in the Image of God. His Image is our identity. As Christ followers, our purpose is His. To bring His Kingdom Rule into every assignment we walk into and our assignment is every opportunity I have to produce Holy Spirit Fruit.
That is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control regardless of circumstance. Regardless of choices, sickness and pain. Because that is what Jesus did. It was people who rejected Him, yet He still died for all. It was people who mocked Him, yet He still chose to give up His Life. It was people who beat Him, spit on Him and yelled at Him, yet He still chose to serve. It was people who drove nails through His Hands, hung Him on the cross and pierced His Side, yet He still ruled. He still reigns and He still gives us all that we need. (2 Peter 1:3)
Every time we hurt others.
Every time we mess up.
Every time we sin.
Every time we make a mistake.
And every time that same is done to us.
There is no circumstance, no sickness, no wrong, no hurt, no sin, no death in which Jesus is no longer on the throne. In this world you will have trouble… you will hurt and be hurt, you might get sick and will see the sick, you will lose and you will miss, you will see evil and you will mourn… but take heart!… have faith, do not give up, never stop trusting, never take your eyes off Me… I have overcome the world… there is nothing that takes me off The Throne (John 16:33). There is nothing I am not working together for your good and My Glory. (Romans 8:28) There is nothing that will not be used for Kingdom Rule and Reign in your life.
You can trust, Jesus!
You can believe He is good! Because He is!
There is a reel about how God lets us down. But they are wrong in the sovereignty of God. No, things will not always go your way. But God never lets us down, because maybe what you want to happen, what you want life to look like does not happen… but no matter what circumstance we find ourselves in… whether from the hand and choices of others or ourselves, or the sovereignty of God… what is best, what is good, what is Holy and Righteous and Kingdom Ruling will forever always be where we end up when we have our eyes on Jesus, when our heart, mind and feet are going in His Direction and when we allow His Goodness and His Mercy to lead us all the days of our lives. Immeasurably more than we can ask, think or imagine according to His Power at work within us (Ephesians 3:20).
People will let us down, but God never will.