I just wanted to feel accepted. From an eleven year old heart that had been shattered and lonely, I never felt good enough for anyone or anything. I was simply looking for love and a place to belong. I was vulnerable and God only knows what could have happened to me. Think about that next time a lonely, needy person comes quietly screaming into your life. Some are loud just trying to get your attention and some are quietly struggling and shy praying you’ll notice them- either way they are just hoping you’ll love them. These children are sometimes easy brush offs, annoyances, and seem impossible to love. But I am here to say that I do not know where I’d be if I was not taken in and tolerated in my most desperate days. I would have done anything to feel like I was a part of a family who wasn’t broken and who had their dad alive and well. And I honestly believe, anything. God protected me and I know it wasn’t easy for the women He trusted with this task but I couldn’t have made it without them.
I heard “unhealthily attached” too many times to count growing up. Sometimes the unhealthy lead to separations, and some I had to go through tremendously helped me. They were done with God’s love, and those women are still in my life today. Because of those separations, I learned how to separate when it is needed without hurting the ones involved. There are also women who God led to stick it out and through that I have learned the true example of Christ’s unconditional love. They are there for me as if I am their own daughter. Exactly what I searched for all of this time but today because of God’s amazing grace, His protection in my life, and the amazing love He has shown me, I don’t feel the overwhelming need to be accepted as someone else’s daughter or the fear of losing that acceptance because I am a daughter of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords and my Heavenly Father has provided me with an amazing mom and the biggest family of brothers and sisters in Christ that I don’t know what to do with all of them! As I mentioned, thank God I was pointed to Christ and then to my mom. If those women had taken me in to the point where I shut my mom out completely, I would have missed out on the relationship I have with the most amazing mom for me!
So thank you Lord, for these amazing women. Because they allowed me to turn to them instead of the boys, the alcohol, the drugs, the parties, the bad company, and the lifeless addictions this world makes so easily available to the vulnerable, I can come to you today fully satisfied in You with very little regrets. You saved me, You protected me, and You have provided me with the most amazing mom I could ever have asked for. We are not the perfect mom and daughter pair, but our relationship is solidly rooted in You and Your Word. I am grateful for You, Your protection, my beautiful mom, and the amazing women you have always allowed to cross my path. I wouldn’t be where I am today without all of you. I love You Lord, and I love each and every woman who has every stepped foot into my crazy, chaotic beautiful mess of a life. I am eternally grateful for you! Next time God gives you the opportunity to be in the life of a needy child, take it because you never know what the Lord is protecting them from through you.
“He will cover you with His feathers. He will shelter you with His wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.” Psalm 91:4