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  • Amy Cate Smith

Clearer Thoughts Come Post-Meltdown

Isn’t it crazy sometimes how one comment can throw you over the edge?! Who made me do that? I just saw Mom’s Day Out, I am clearly not a mom but I can relate to her “stress paralyzed” state and what they often referred to as “moments.” You never know what someone is going through. One innocent comment can pull strings from years ago. I hate that! I hate being that person. I am sensitive and I am defensive. SO not a good combination. Especially because my defenses often take up for the people I love and I cannot stand for someone to talk about the people I love. Especially when they don’t know them! Oh, that is another story for another time.


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Today’s sermon was on love. How God’s love is in action. How we don’t have to like everyone and we don’t have to feel the warm fuzzies for everyone. But, we are called to love in action. We are called to show love just like Christ did for us by dying on the cross when we were still sinners. Getting your feelings hurt that turns into a twenty minute argument is not being shown love and makes me not show very much love. And on top of all that, it never fails arguing makes me cry. I start to think about the people I love who are hurting tremendously right now and I can’t seem to find myself out of a petty argument. So I’ll admit I had a bit of a meltdown. One of many in the past couple weeks. I’ll give it to the meltdown though, my thoughts become a lot more clear through it. You have to care and you have to know God will get you through whatever trial you’re in. Whatever hard patch, whatever discontentment, insecurity, not good enough moment, overanalyzed thought He will get you through it. You are enough for Him!

My heart still hurts even though I can find more smiles in my tears today. So many people I love are hurting. This life is not fair. This life is not always fun. There are tough times and I am ready for Jesus to come back. Nine years later and I still miss my dad. I miss our simple life. I miss our “normal” family. Our together family. I don’t want a broken family, a broken home, a broken life. I want my dad. I want my normal life. I want to hug my dad. I want to know how it feels to have a dad. I will never have that again and I want it to be okay. I thank God every day He gives us the strength to keep going. People say it gets easier. It doesn’t get easier, you just get better at it. And you really don’t just get better at it, God strengthens you. He makes you better at it! You are exactly where you are supposed to be! God will never call you to something you cannot handle! He will always give you the strength to get through the trails you find yourself in. He will never leave you! He will never forsake you! You’ll never drown, never burn up! He will never give you anything He isn’t strong enough to handle through you!

You have the freedom to choose your words, choose wisely!

Xo Amy

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